Until It's Gone
by lilgulie5
Summary: Puck and Quinn must deal with how they feel after she has left to live with Mercedes. Set after 'Funk' and before 'Journey'. Oneshot.


**A/N: Welcome to 'Until It's Gone'. I thought of this pretty randomly tonight because Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" came onto my iTunes, followed closely by Marie Digby's "Beauty in Walking Away". This is how I wish things would have turned out after Quinn leave's Puck's house in Funk. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or Big Yellow Taxi, or Beauty and Walking Away. **

**XXXXX**

He walks into his room and nothing seems right anymore. Her cardigan isn't hanging on the back of his desk chair, he didn't trip over her shoes when he walked through the door, and her perfume bottle isn't sitting on the dresser next to his cologne, but its scent, light and beautiful, still hangs in the air as he falls down onto the bed. He closes his eyes and turns his head to the right, half expecting to see her face there when he opens them, but he knows it won't be because he watched her go, helped her carry her bags to Mercedes' car. It was the least he could do for her. She never asked for much from him and he didn't want to fight with her because she looked so certain, so sure when she's told him that she was leaving. It wasn't his fault, she'd said to him. If Mercedes had offered when she first left Finn's, she would have gone then, instead of being an inconvenience to him. He'd just nodded because he wanted her to be happy, she obviously wasn't with him, and he couldn't hurt her anymore. _If you love something, let it go, right?_

XXXXX

She rolls over in bed and nothing seems right. She has too much space, there isn't a familiar warmth near her and his arm hasn't snuck up to protectively cover her, but his touch, warm and gentle, still seems to linger over her like a shadow. She closes her eyes tightly and takes a deep breath, half expecting to wake up from a dream and be in his cramped bed again, but she knows she won't. She can't be dreaming because she hasn't been able to sleep at all, despite telling herself that this was best for everyone. It was the least she could do for him. He never asked for much from her, just for a chance, but she didn't want to change her mind because he seemed so willing, so accepting of her choice to leave. She couldn't blame him. If another option would have presented itself when she first left Finn's she knew he wouldn't have offered to let her stay with him, or at least that's what she's told herself. When Mercedes offered, she'd agreed because she doesn't want to be a bother, doesn't want him to be stuck or feel trapped. _There's a beauty in walking away, right?_

XXXXX

He wonders if she can't sleep either, but knows she probably can. He pictures her in her light pink nightgown, with one hand tucked under her head and the other draped over her belly, with her hair falling onto her shoulders. He never told her how beautiful she looked. He worries that there isn't a night light and when she wakes up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom she'll have to fumble around in the dark. He hopes that she found the three packages of gummi worms that he hid in her duffle bag because he doubts Mercedes' dentist father lets them keep that kind of thing in the house. He doesn't want to miss her because he knows she's probably better off without him, but he needs her back like he needs air to breathe. 'If you love something let it go.' _Fuck that,_ he says to himself and grabs his keys from the dresser. He thinks that whoever said that wasn't man enough to fight for what he wanted.

XXXXX

She wonders if he likes having the bed to himself again, but knows that he probably does. She pictures him in his wife beater, sprawled out over more than half of the bed, hogging the covers, his lips pouting slightly. She never told him how handsome he looked. She cursed when she stubbed her toe on the bed post because she couldn't see where she was going when she got out of bed to go to the bathroom. She teared up, but wouldn't, couldn't, allow herself to cry when she found and ate all three packages of gummi worms that he must have packed for her because he cared more than she would allow herself to admit. She doesn't want to miss him because she knows he's probably better off without her, but she needs to be with him again like she needs her fragile, broken heart to keep beating. 'There's a beauty in walking away.' _Forget that,_ she says to herself and grabs her phone from the night stand. She thinks that whoever said that didn't have the strength to turn back around.

XXXXX

He's hoping his mom and sister didn't want up when he left, but he kind of doesn't care. The streets are dark and empty, but somehow, that seems fitting. He's grateful he remembers where Mercedes lives because otherwise he's be screwed and he doesn't want to waste any time. He's confused when his phone beeps, assuming it's one of his dumb friends, and can't believe the name that appears. He knows he must be dreaming because it's from _her_ and because of what she said. 'I miss you.'

XXXXX

She hopes she made the right decision, but she kind of doesn't care. The room is dark and quiet and feels so empty, but somehow, that seems fitting. She's grateful she let her pride fall and her guard slip, but she's worried he won't answer back and all of this was a waste of time. She's excited when he phone buzzes in her hand because she knows it's _him_ and not one of her other friends, but she's confused by his message, because she only sent hers a minute or so ago. 'Look outside.'

XXXXX

He waits and prays for her to appear at the window. He's taken aback when she finally does because it's only been twelve hours since he saw her last, but that's twelve hours too many for him.

XXXXX

She's shocked when she sees him standing outside by his truck, but if she's being honest, really not shocked at all because she _knows_ him. She turns away and slips down the stairs. She can't believe it's only been twelve hours since she saw him last, because, to her, it's felt like a lifetime.

XXXXX

He meets her halfway up the sidewalk and pulls her into his arms without saying a word. She buries her face deep in his shirt because she wants to be as close to him as possible. He wants to tell her everything, but doesn't know how to begin so he lifts her chin and gently kisses her. She sighs softly when he pulls away and bites her lip when he wraps her in his jacket because the air is still a little crisp.

"I'm sorry," he said as he takes her small hands into his.

"For what?"

"For letting you go."

"I thought I knew what I wanted," she replies, hating that she can't control her emotions. "But I was just running away from it."

"What _do_ you want? Because I want to be with you."

She smiles because it's not the first time he's said that to her, but it's the first time she believes him.

"I want to be with you, too."

It's his turn to smile because he never expected to hear that from her.

"I love you," he breathes and brushes a stray tear from her cheek.

"I love you, too," she simply replies, content that, for now, that's all they need to know.


End file.
